Happiness is rare in Steve's life
by destielfive0
Summary: Coda 2x17. Steve has had too much to drink, so Danny drives him home.


Steve doesn't feel too good sitting in a restaurant downing his seventh beer for the night. It's been a long and miserable day, after a long uninteresting two weeks of training at the Enterprise. He just wants to forget these past few weeks with Lori leaving Five-0, who he had grown to love and respect, despite their off-beginnings. Now she's gone and left him with a sense of guilt and regret. Guilt for him not being able to love her back and regret for not telling her he wasn't interested right from the beginning. He wants to forget the argument he had with Catherine about their relationship or as she said "this thing we have going on", saying that if they can't move past sex and flirtation, they should just let go of it. That leads him to thinking about another thing he wants to forget, which are his feelings for his annoying, loud-mouth, culinary-challenged, yet amazing partner.

Steve explores his life. He thinks about his father sending him off to Annapolis, his sister going off to Los Angeles, and his mother dying in the car accident when he was sixteen. These are a few of the reasons why he can't let his relationship with Catherine get too serious, because just like his father, sister, and mother, she would leave him too.

Steve laughs silently. He repeats these are a _few _of the reasons why it can't be serious. The rest of the reason is his feelings for Danny. He loves Danny. He started to realize this the day of the Sarin incident. When he saw Danny against the wall, tears in his eyes, unable to breathe, Steve could feel everything he was feeling and more. Then later that day, he walks into the hospital room and sees Rachel in Danny's arms. His heart breaks again and just smiles and walks out, unable to breathe or comprehend what was going on.

Then Danny had to give him that hug at HQ the next morning, which totally sent Steve falling head over combat boots with his partner.

Now he is here in this noisy restaurant watching Danny, Grace, and Gabby in the sand. They look happy. Steve stares at them and is envious. He realizes that he's never been happy as they seem to be, in his whole life. Everyone left him, he's alone. Yes, he has Chin, Kono, and Danny. But Chin and Kono are only there because it's their job to be there. And Danny, Danny will leave him as soon as he gets married to Gabby and they'll have their own family.

The reason Steve wants Danny to pursue his relationship with Gabby is to make him forget about Rachel and all the pain she caused him, not for Steve's sake, but for Danny's. Steve loves Danny so much that he'll sacrifice his only chance of happiness, in order to let Danny regain his.

His thoughts are broken down when Kono speaks.

"You okay Boss?"

"Huh?" replies Steve. "Hey where're Max and Kamekona?"

"Steve, they left a half-hour ago. They said bye to you, but you were busy staring out into the beach." Chin explained.

He was so drunk and focused on Danny that he didn't even know half the table were gone.

"Oh," Steve said, "aren't you both gonna head home?"

"Yeah boss, we would, but you seem a little drunk. I think we should take you home." Kono said with a concerned look on her face.

"Nah, you guys go ahead. Danny'll drive me back home."

"Well okay, but you wait for him. Don't try to go home by yourself, you are way too drunk." Chin warned.

"Yes, Dad" replied Steve, stretching his vowels.

Chin and Kono head out the door and back to their own lives, just like Steve predicted. Danny's out there laughing with Gabby, chasing her and Grace on the beach. Steve tries to stand from his chair and ends up falling over against a waiter holding a tray of dishes.

"Hey! Man, watch where you're going!" exclaimed the waiter.

"Sorry man." Steve replies.

All of a sudden he sees Danny, Gabby, and Grace out of the corner of his eyes staring at him.

"Steve!" Danny yells.

"Daaannnnyyyy! Hey mannn!" Steve says.

"Okay, apparently you've had a lot to drink" Danny says, then turns to Gabby, "Gab, I had a really great time and Grace has too, right Grace?" Grace nods, "but I'm sure you have work tomorrow and Grace has an early tennis match, so can we call it a night?"

"Yeah, sure. And it looks like you have to take Commander McGarrett home too. Doesn't look like he's in a well condition to be driving." Gabby replies.

"Yup. Crazy goof can't even control his drinking." Danny says.

Steve watches as Danny kisses Gabby in the cheek, then Grace tells her she had fun and they should do it again next time. Gabby walks out the door and Danny turns to Steve.

"Come on, Neanderthal. Let's get you home."

* * *

><p>As soon as Danny drops Grace off at Rachel's, he steers his way to the McGarrett home.<p>

"Danny. Can you drop me off to NMC? I need to visit my Dad." Steve says, half asleep.

"Are you sure? You seem a little out of it." Danny replies.

"Yeah. I'll just be a minute."

"Okay, if you're sure."

* * *

><p>They get to the National Memorial Cemetery and Steve walks out of the car.<p>

"I'll stay inside the car and keep it running. Take your time, I'll wait here." Danny says before Steve walks out the door.

"Thanks, Danno" Steve says.

Steve walks up to his dad's grave. He notices how dusty the plaque looks and remembers that he hasn't visited it in a month when he was with Joe.

"Dad," Steve starts "why is it like that? Why can't I ever be happy?"

Steve starts to tear up, tears falling out of his eyes onto the plaque of his father's grave.

"First, Mom leaves, then you and Mary, now Danny too?" Steve starts to sob erratically. "Why can't I ever be happy with anyone I love? Was it too much to ask for you to not send me and Mary away? Was it too much to ask Mary to stay here with me? Is it too much to ask Danny to forget about Rachel and break it off with Gabby and be with me?"

Steve can't hold onto his tears. He is lying in the ground with his hands in his face. It isn't after a few minutes of crying that he falls asleep next to his father.

* * *

><p>Danny notices that Steve's been there for about twenty-five minutes. He usually stays there for five minutes, ten max.<p>

Danny steps out of the car, locking the door and heads to John McGarrett's grave. As he walks, he thinks about Steve's expressions for the past few days. He seems more angry and unsettling than usual.

When Danny reaches his destination, he spots Steve lying on the ground.

"Steve!" Danny yells, kneeling next to Steve's body. "Steve! Come on babe, wake up".

Steve opens his eyes and sees Danny's concerned face. "Danny?" He notices he's on the ground. "What am I doing on the ground?"

"You must've passed out from all that drinking you did back at the Hilton."

"Oh. Okay, well help me up so you and I can go home."

Danny stands up and holds his hands out. He notices Steve's swollen eyes as he helps him up.

"Have you been crying?" Danny asks.

"Wha- No, why would you say that?" Steve replies.

"Nothing. Nevermind."

As Danny is walking toward the Camaro, Steve yells out his name.

"Danny!"

"Yeah?"

"Hold on."

Danny starts walking towards Steve and when he gets there Steve grabs him by the shoulder and pulls him into a kiss. The kiss was amazing on Steve's part, but he didn't know what Danny was thinking.

Danny's pushing Steve back now and grabs his shoulders to shove him. "Steve, what the _hell _are you doing?"

"Danny, I love you."

"I love you too man, but what was that for." Danny replies with a quizzical look on his face.

"No Danny, I am _in love _with you." Steve cries out. "I am in love with your nagging, your anger, your passion, your blonde hair, the way you are with Grace, and everything else, Danny. I love you, and I don't want to lose you like I did Dad, Mom, and Mary."

Danny is staring at Steve with a confused look in his face. "Steve, what are you talking about? You're not funny. Stop it."

"I'm not trying to be funny Danny! I _am _in love with you! I need you here with me, don't leave me Danny. Not for Rachel and not for Gabby."

"Steve, I love you too man, but not the way you love me." Danny replies.

"I'm not-"

"Gay? Danny, I'm not either. I've never been in love with a man before. I've never been _in love_ before. You are the only one Danny. Only you."

"Steve, this is all too much. I don't know. I need to go home and you need to go home. There are probably things you need to go over in your head for a while."

Danny grabs his phone from his pocket and dials a number. "Chin. Hey we are here in NMC. You mind picking Steve up and driving him home?"

Danny says thanks and hangs up. "Steve. Chin will be here in a few minutes to pick you up. Only ten minutes away from here, so I'm gonna head home. Just wait for him, okay?"

"Yeah. Fine, whatever. But no matter what "thinking" I do, it won't change how I feel about you." Steve says with tears in his eyes.

Danny doesn't say another word and turns around to go inside his car.

Steve watches Danny's taillights as he drives off.


End file.
